Holy cow, I have totally managed to do it again!  I am truly sorry as I had every intention to tell you about my recent adventures yesterday (I even started it!) and somehow between work, guitar lessons, dogzilla costumes (muhahahaha!) and harvesting my crops (my name is Angi and I’m addicted to Farmville) the day just seemed to slip through my fingers like sand through an hourglass (and such is the days of our lives).  Man, I don’t know about your lives but mine moves at the speed of light and I seriously wonder at times if I remembered to put on clean underwear and turn off the iron.

Anyway, I will begin today by asking you to imagine a sea of RVs as far as the eye can see.  Yes, there are campers to the left of me, pop-ups to the right and here I am stuck in the middle with you (uh, isn’t that a song?).  So how did we come to be plopped down in this plethora of portable homes.  Well, as luck might have it we scored some last minute primo tickets (thanks to Heidi) to the “World Series” of NASCAR races (aka: “The Bristol Night Race”).  This is not just a race, but rather THE race that anyone who worships the church of NASCAR must attend at least once in their life.

Now, for those of you who are non-NASCAR savvy (if there is even such a thing) this coveted race basically comprises of 43 race cars going round and round at ungodly speeds, swapping paint with each other (think extreme road rage) in a bowl-shaped (think cereal) arena as 160,000+  fans scream at the top of their lungs over the deafening roar for their favorite driver to win.  It’s an awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping sight to behold.

Why even in the pre-race ceremony was awesome as there were classic cars, fireworks, F-18 fighter jets flying over, a teary-eyed tribute to our armed forces and a Guinness World Record attempt at the largest karaoke sing-along (to none other than Garth Brook’s “Friends In Low Places”).  Why I even saw a giant shopping cart that was as big as a monster truck out on the track!

And that’s just the main event.  For prior to the race, there’s all the pre-race activities that are just as equally amazing (crazy).  Why do I say this?  Well, before you get to the race you have to navigate your way through a carnival-like atmosphere with a variety of food, merchandise trailers (offering everything from hats to pajamas to dog collars for your favorite driver), interactive exhibits, driver appearances (if you are lucky enough to get a coveted ticket) and oodles of free marketing-related gifts of every shape and size – including (and I’m not joking) Extenze which markets itself as “Growing One Member At A Time” (yes, this is sadly a male enhancement product).

Why I actually have a special bag in my NASCAR kit (which I’m too embarrassed to even discuss) just to drag home all the free stuff (crap) they give away at the track. There were drink cozies, t-shirts, chewing tobacco (to just enhance that redneck stereotype), hats, blueberry muffin-shaped timers (got two!), bottles of barbeque sauce, Sharpie markers and Hamburger Helper foam hands just to name a few of the unique freebies floating around.  You have truly got to wonder who comes up with this stuff and then decides to give it to those crazy NASCAR folk.  And don’t even get me started on who thought giving people a Sharpie marker was a good idea.  Holy cow!

Oh, and just when you thought you had it all they add national television into the mix.  Yep, Speed TV broadcasts all of it’s pre-race programs live from the track with those fun-loving NASCAR fans performing in a generous supporting role.  It’s quite the sight to behold when you consider the average NASCAR fan spends most of the race weekend in a drunken stupor (probably because Dale Jr. never wins anything and Kyle Busch does!).

And in case you were wondering how the title relates to this blog, well, my sister and I (not even remotely drunk) were interviewed by Speed TV reporter Rutledge Wood about our preferences on what makes for good barbeque (like we’re meat experts or something?).  Sadly, my interview ended up on the virtual cutting room floor, but Heather and Sew-Sew (the internationally known traveling bear) looked absolutely fabulous on national television in the 5 seconds we got to see them!

Yes, our journey to Bristol, Tennessee (or “Thunder Valley” as the surrounding neighbors likes to call it for obvious reasons) was an incredible and rather delightful experience.  The two hour wait to leave the parking lot, on the other hand, was a whole other matter.  But it’s the price you pay and it was well worth it.

Well, I am rather worn out and you will just have to come back another day for another adventure story.  And just to tempt you, let’s just say it involves zombies, mayhem and another world record attempt!

Toodles,

Angi

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